Faster, ran, there is no time! I am sick - all pale, wet, shivering, feeling like my bones breaking. But next to me hear a tiny, three-year child pure voice, "Mom, mom..." "Shut up, you don’t see – mom is sick?" No attention to daughter. Each uttered sound causes aggression. One wish, only one driving force - drug dose. Then I find, using, and hate myself for what I do, for what I am today. I say to myself - stop! Seeking a way out, but it seems that I have no longer any exit. Detoxification, methadone program, psychiatrists, addiction specialists, monasteries... I'm so far gone through this and every time when I quit, I thought it is forever. However, this freedom did not last for long. And again - morning, I am sick, but in the head there is a single desire - drug dose. I was dying being and dragged with me closest people. I was looking at the child, but inside me was emptiness, indifference. I will feed her, dress up and will bring to the garden. But to play with you - do not even ask me. It's uninteresting, do not come to me, every part of me hurts and all and all – do not sing, your voice annoys me... My child’s father died of a drug use, and I knew if I won’t quit, it will be the same for me. Five years ago, my mom found out about the centre, where former drug addicts help to get rid of drug addiction. I called them and arranged a meeting. To be honest, I did not think that I will go to the centre for a whole year. I generally just wanted to meet, perhaps get some advice on how to quit, but no to go to the centre. Perhaps these people self-confidence and appearance spoke for themselves - two joyful, strong men. I stood there gray and tired of life. They said – there is a way out. The only way for you now - social adaptation centre. It's your opportunity - do not miss it. And I took this opportunity. I am grateful to the Centre and the people who are here and help, that they did not allow me to go down and die. And now everything is so good that I want constantly to smile. I hear the voice of my babe and feel happy!
© Community Neatkarība Balt, 2010
Web page development CubeCity.lv